Fiddle Dee Dee
Tonight, in a very cracked out moment at work, I gave this chick (whom I LURV) my journal address. Well, normally, I would not mind. However, she does not know about some of the things in my life that are discussed in this journal. OH she KNOWS I am a big ole gay bastard. She also knows I am a fucking freak. She does not, however, know about the topic of discussion for my entry entitled Apparent Lepper. I would link it, but I do not know how. Well, Hooker, now ya know. I will have to make it a point to speak to her in the morning. Not that I MIND if she finds out. I do think she is a fabulously wonderful individual. I would have rather told her myself, though. Ya know? Moving on.
So last night, I watched "Gone with the Wind" for the first time since I was a little laddie. I have decided that I love that movie. If you have never heard of it, it is about this guy named Preston who kicked your retard ass for living under a rock your entire life. I mean, what the hell? Who has NOT heard of some fucking "Gone with the Wind"?!? Anyway, I decided that Rett Butler is an ugly, ugly little man. He bares a striking resemblence to Gomez Addams in the '90's "Addams Family" films. This just proves my point that that man is a vampire who has been making movies since the 1600's or something and who stages his own death every few years. And yes, I meant to say the 1600's.
I also decided that I want to have sex with Scarlet O'Hara when she is in that red dress, one eyebrow cocked, being a sassy bitch at Ashley Wilkes' birthday party. Granted, I can not do that as she is dead and the red dress probably no longer exists. I still thought that she was pretty damned hot in that. Although I also want to get with young Jimmy Stewart. Freakish? I think not. I like his alcoholic/perpetually stoned voice.
Enough about having sex with the dead. I spoke to military boy last night and again tonight. Sweet bippy! The things that man can do with his vocal chords! I need to see him.
OH YEA!!! Fuck me! Damn near forgot what I was going to write about tonight what with all the shananigans and goings on. SOOOoooooo.....BASICALLY, what had happened was I went out to one of the ultra-exclusive, ultra-hip, ultra-tragic queer watering holes Saturday night. So I go in, and considering I know all 14 gay people in this state, I thought I'd know everyone. Well, I got there too early. There was a full house, but I did not know anyone. Nor did I see anyone I wanted to "know." So I went and bought my AmberBock and sat down by my lonesome.
"You used to date Armand, right?" a man's voice said from over me.
I was thinking to myself, "What the HELL? I have not been with or seen Armand in three years."
So I said, "What the HELL? I have not been with or seen Armand in three years." Heh heh.
"Well, I am...(Now at this point, I sort of stopped listening to him.)...probably too old...( I have a tendency to not pay any attention to people.)...still cute...(It is not me being rude it is just my way of. Hmm? I don't know. I just do it.)...back to my place and snuggle tonight?"
"Excuse me?" the fuck did I just miss?!?
"I said do you want to come back to my place with me tonight and JUST snuggle?"
Okay, so I could have been a really rude bitch upon his request, but I chose a different path. "No thank you. I would rather not 'snuggle' with anyone right now. You see, I just got out of a year and a half long relationship. It was good for about...(At this point, he stopped paying attention.)...talked about his drug problem...(And he started scanning the room. I did vaguely remember him, and he wasn't the type to walk away midway through my story.)...permanent scar on my stomach...(I know I took advantage of his character, but he just wanted to fuck me. Plus, I don't know him well enough to care about his feelings.)...so he left when the cops did."
"Oh my friend just walked in, I'll talk to you later, Preston."
"Okay it was good seeing you again,....man." I completely missed what he had said his name is.
Well, at some point during one of the stories, the most attractive little boy I have seen in recent months walked in. He looked like he was 16, but due to the EXTREMELY strict doorman, I knew he had to be at least 21. He was petite, big pecs, blond, just gorgeous. So I decided to approach him. I mean if I got turned down, it is not like anyone that I knew was going to see it. An hour and a half after walking up to him, we are still talking. GREAT personality.
Well, at about the 2 hour mark of the conversation, a blue wigged GAYsha eyed dragqueen that resembled a rodeo clown marched up to us.
"Preston! OH MY GOD!"
"Ummmmmmmmm...yes?"
"It's me, Matthew!"
What in the fucking shit hell was Matthew thinking? Matthew is a dragqueen friend of mine who makes a gorgeous woman. I damn near broke out the holy water. Jesus Christ. You have never seen a bigger glittered mess than that. Looked kind of like a Japanese Smurf with Down Syndrome. Not being mean, being honest.
"You look GREEEEEAAAAAT, Matthew! I was just thinking to myself, 'Self, who the FUCK is that?' Wow, now I know." BIG forced smile. Big half scared eyes.
"Well, I love it. I decided to try something new," he screeched.
I just smiled and nodded. NO Ma'am. We never, EVER go out into the public looking like that. I mean NEVER. Not even on a Sunday. He was a hot mess.
"So have you met my friend?" as he motioned towards the blond with whom I had been conversing.
I responded through the big fake smile full of gnashed teeth, "Yes, we have met. Although in all the time we have been speaking, I don't think I caught your name?"
Matthew introduced us, "Preston, I'd like you to meet my close friend Miranda."
That's right, MIRANDA! I had been spilling my mack juice all over a fucking lesbian all night. That is my luck. I meet a cute guy with a great personality and he has no dick.
Welcome to my life.
Tonight, in a very cracked out moment at work, I gave this chick (whom I LURV) my journal address. Well, normally, I would not mind. However, she does not know about some of the things in my life that are discussed in this journal. OH she KNOWS I am a big ole gay bastard. She also knows I am a fucking freak. She does not, however, know about the topic of discussion for my entry entitled Apparent Lepper. I would link it, but I do not know how. Well, Hooker, now ya know. I will have to make it a point to speak to her in the morning. Not that I MIND if she finds out. I do think she is a fabulously wonderful individual. I would have rather told her myself, though. Ya know? Moving on.
So last night, I watched "Gone with the Wind" for the first time since I was a little laddie. I have decided that I love that movie. If you have never heard of it, it is about this guy named Preston who kicked your retard ass for living under a rock your entire life. I mean, what the hell? Who has NOT heard of some fucking "Gone with the Wind"?!? Anyway, I decided that Rett Butler is an ugly, ugly little man. He bares a striking resemblence to Gomez Addams in the '90's "Addams Family" films. This just proves my point that that man is a vampire who has been making movies since the 1600's or something and who stages his own death every few years. And yes, I meant to say the 1600's.
I also decided that I want to have sex with Scarlet O'Hara when she is in that red dress, one eyebrow cocked, being a sassy bitch at Ashley Wilkes' birthday party. Granted, I can not do that as she is dead and the red dress probably no longer exists. I still thought that she was pretty damned hot in that. Although I also want to get with young Jimmy Stewart. Freakish? I think not. I like his alcoholic/perpetually stoned voice.
Enough about having sex with the dead. I spoke to military boy last night and again tonight. Sweet bippy! The things that man can do with his vocal chords! I need to see him.
OH YEA!!! Fuck me! Damn near forgot what I was going to write about tonight what with all the shananigans and goings on. SOOOoooooo.....BASICALLY, what had happened was I went out to one of the ultra-exclusive, ultra-hip, ultra-tragic queer watering holes Saturday night. So I go in, and considering I know all 14 gay people in this state, I thought I'd know everyone. Well, I got there too early. There was a full house, but I did not know anyone. Nor did I see anyone I wanted to "know." So I went and bought my AmberBock and sat down by my lonesome.
"You used to date Armand, right?" a man's voice said from over me.
I was thinking to myself, "What the HELL? I have not been with or seen Armand in three years."
So I said, "What the HELL? I have not been with or seen Armand in three years." Heh heh.
"Well, I am...(Now at this point, I sort of stopped listening to him.)...probably too old...( I have a tendency to not pay any attention to people.)...still cute...(It is not me being rude it is just my way of. Hmm? I don't know. I just do it.)...back to my place and snuggle tonight?"
"Excuse me?" the fuck did I just miss?!?
"I said do you want to come back to my place with me tonight and JUST snuggle?"
Okay, so I could have been a really rude bitch upon his request, but I chose a different path. "No thank you. I would rather not 'snuggle' with anyone right now. You see, I just got out of a year and a half long relationship. It was good for about...(At this point, he stopped paying attention.)...talked about his drug problem...(And he started scanning the room. I did vaguely remember him, and he wasn't the type to walk away midway through my story.)...permanent scar on my stomach...(I know I took advantage of his character, but he just wanted to fuck me. Plus, I don't know him well enough to care about his feelings.)...so he left when the cops did."
"Oh my friend just walked in, I'll talk to you later, Preston."
"Okay it was good seeing you again,....man." I completely missed what he had said his name is.
Well, at some point during one of the stories, the most attractive little boy I have seen in recent months walked in. He looked like he was 16, but due to the EXTREMELY strict doorman, I knew he had to be at least 21. He was petite, big pecs, blond, just gorgeous. So I decided to approach him. I mean if I got turned down, it is not like anyone that I knew was going to see it. An hour and a half after walking up to him, we are still talking. GREAT personality.
Well, at about the 2 hour mark of the conversation, a blue wigged GAYsha eyed dragqueen that resembled a rodeo clown marched up to us.
"Preston! OH MY GOD!"
"Ummmmmmmmm...yes?"
"It's me, Matthew!"
What in the fucking shit hell was Matthew thinking? Matthew is a dragqueen friend of mine who makes a gorgeous woman. I damn near broke out the holy water. Jesus Christ. You have never seen a bigger glittered mess than that. Looked kind of like a Japanese Smurf with Down Syndrome. Not being mean, being honest.
"You look GREEEEEAAAAAT, Matthew! I was just thinking to myself, 'Self, who the FUCK is that?' Wow, now I know." BIG forced smile. Big half scared eyes.
"Well, I love it. I decided to try something new," he screeched.
I just smiled and nodded. NO Ma'am. We never, EVER go out into the public looking like that. I mean NEVER. Not even on a Sunday. He was a hot mess.
"So have you met my friend?" as he motioned towards the blond with whom I had been conversing.
I responded through the big fake smile full of gnashed teeth, "Yes, we have met. Although in all the time we have been speaking, I don't think I caught your name?"
Matthew introduced us, "Preston, I'd like you to meet my close friend Miranda."
That's right, MIRANDA! I had been spilling my mack juice all over a fucking lesbian all night. That is my luck. I meet a cute guy with a great personality and he has no dick.
Welcome to my life.
posted by Preston at 1:13 AM
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