Saturday, February 21, 2004

Just Act Like You've Got a Brain

My mom used to always tell me that when I was growing up. She is a sassy fun woman. I'll talk about her later today. Right now I have to vent a little.

And if that inbred, white trash, honky cracker, sister fucking, goat sucking, "It's my gawdamn Raybull flag stoopid muther fuukin faygit. Ha uck yuck," piece of excited southerner shit does not stop FIRING his GODDAMNED GUN........I am actually not going to do a thing about it. I do wish he would stop though. It is loud and obnoxious.

Sweet Boy is no more. Well, he is not dead or anything nor have I stopped speaking to him. I am just not going to chase after him anymore. Well, I am still going to chase him, but I am not going to hide in the bushes outside his apartment while smearing cheese whiz all over my body. I will at least stop doing that. Well, I will at least stop doing that on Sundays.

Basically, I think that I am after someone who I will never end up with. I was not sure about it until I went to kiss him yet again, and he did that whole duck to the right, backhand spring, Matrix float, "let's just hug" thing. Which would be fine if he were not ready to even kiss. However, he has screwed four different guys in the past three weeks. I asked his best friend, Little Gay, what he thought I should do. Well actually I told him that I am kind of tired of being hung up on Sweet Boy because I feel as though I am just being played with. I then told Little Gay about me being down with the sickness. He then had this very enlightened look on his face.

"So THAT'S what he meant!"
"So what's what who meant?", I asked Little Gay.
"Well, Sweet Boy told me that he really likes ya alot, but he could probably never be in a relationship with you for certain reasons. That must be what he meant."
"Must be," I muttered as the orange haired IHOP waitress asked if I needed more unsweet tea.

Remember when I went off about the little blond haired 19 year old in my entry Apparent Lepper? And remember what kind of pissed me off the most about him (other than his sunburst sphincter attitude)? I am really hoping that if Sweet Boy decides that he cannot even attempt to ever be with me because of "the hiv" he will have the balls to tell me. I know he has them. I have felt them before in a friendly grope. I just hope he doesn't make me castrate him.

What else is going on? The redneck neighbor is outside shooting his gun. It is a good thing too. Apparently, there are plastic deer running amuck thru the streets of my little town. If it were not for him, we could all be killed. Oh the huMANitY!! Sometimes I swear to the gods that everyone in this town, my family excluded, was scraped from the bottom of the same gene pool.

It is a pity that no one ever told them about the consequences of inbreeding.