Saturday, February 07, 2004

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show

So tonight at work, I decided to quit my job. Well, I act like tonight was somehow different than any and every other night that I work. Tonight, I actually typed up my letter of resignation. Here is a copy of it.

"JP:

In two weeks, you will have a position to fill. Thanks for the job. I had rent to pay. It almost covered it. Now, I am living with my mom again. Thanks for that too. I do not have rent now. Therefore, I have no need to subject myself to this job anymore.

Thanks again,
Preston"

I am keeping a copy of it in my locker at work. Basically, I am all gung-hoe about doing something like, oh, I don't know, quitting my job until I sit my ass down for a minute and calm down. Typing the letter again and again tonight calmed me. Needlesstosay, I still have my position in the chain gang. At least now I have a hard copy of my resignation. Next time I get disgruntled at work, I can go and get it and take it to my boss. No typing means no time to grow calm and rational.

Oh and to the night shift girl, which is going to be your name now as I am sure you will at some point be reading this, when I say I am quitting you are supposed to say, "No, don't go you pharmaceutical god you. Please stay. My life will be incomplete without you." You are NOT supposed to say, "Let me know if you do. I want your shift." See, the first one is GOOD. The second, BAAAD. I'll expect you to rub my nipples when I see you at work again.

Sorry that turned into a bit of an email did it not.

Well, after a night from the fifth ring of hell, I went to the gas station to buy beer. I wanted wine, but in this part of the country, they believe that everyone has to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to milk a cow or fuck a sheep. Since everyone is going to be getting up early, they must be heading to bed early. If they are going to bed early, they don't need alcohol after 9 or 10 o'clock at night. Since beer is like a fucked up soft drink to most of these people, they can still sell it. I am glad they can though. I needed some magic happy juice.

Why do I always remove myself from Southerners as though I am not a country boy. I grew up in the heart of tabacco chewing, goat screwing, cow tipping, banjo picking, "colored" boy lynching, sister fucking, knee slapping, hoe down country. That is probably why I remove myself from it. I despise it so much. What was I talking about again?

Oh yea, so I get home and find a package for me. I am always excited to find parcels for me. Even if someone sent me like Anthrax or something, I'd be excited. Even after opening it. It means someone is thinking of me. Even if they are thinking I should be dead, they are still thinking of me. Makes me happy. The only ones I never got excited about were those bastard packages that BMG used to send every month. I mean, why the hell do they send you a cd if you didn't order one. Call me a cheap lazy fucker, but I never sent back the reply card saying I didn't want the featured artists cd. I felt and still do feel that it is a waste of a perfectly good stamp. They'd send some shit like "Jordache and the Seaweed Thongs" and I'd always write, "Refused: Return to Sender." They sent me a letter about that too. They were so pissy about it. I told them if I don't order the shit, don't send me the shit. Seemed like common sense to me. That'd be like if I went to have gas put in my car, and the people changed my car's tires while they were at it. Then expected me to pay them to take the tires back off and put my tires back on. Well, it is sorta the same damn thing. Anyway, stuff like that really pisses me off. Where was I again? Cheetos? Beer? Rednecks? Oh yea, my parcel!!!

So I open it up and what do I find?! This guy Dillon from New Orleans has sent me a cd. Not just any cd. He burned me a cd with Big Maybelle, Hadda Brooks, Josephine Baker, Laverne Baker, Georgia White, Dinah Washington, Candye Kane, and Lil Green on it. I damn near lost continence I was so excited. Well, I wasn't quite THAT excited, but I was still pretty damn syked. Listening to it now. Other than Candye Kane, who is obviously on the crack rock, it is an awesome cd.

What else is going on? I feel like this entry is so boring. Maybe it is because I have been drinking. I'll pretend that that is the reason.

Lil Green is singing a song now called "I gotta Have It." The Chorus is "I gotta have it/ Gotta have it/ Morning, noon, and night/ I've gotta have it/ No, I just can't do without it/ I've just gotta have it all the time." Isn't that a pretty song. I remember growing up as a boy...Wait I hate that term. I never grew up as a girl. Therefore, I have no memories of growing up as a girl, and, therefore, by default, I must only have memories of growing up as a boy. So I should and could simply say I have memories from when I was growing up. What the hell am I talking about. I was going to say something, too. And I remember what it was, but after that crap, it has been ruined. I am going to go and drink more now. Prolly smoke too. Definitely have a Twinkie.