Sunday, February 08, 2004


I am always referring to myself as an aspiring writer. I am perpetually "starting on my first novel." I do usually start writing one, but then, think of something totally different that I want to write. So I am constantly starting novels, but never doing anything with them once started. Lately, I haven't even been starting them. I have been doing a hell of a lot of aspiring but not as much writing. It kind of sucks.

I have been writing in this journal on a regular basis. I think it is because I can get one pointlessly random idea out and be done with it. I do not have to ever come back to this writing again if I so choose. I suck at doing stuff that takes any length of time. Like I paint abstract paintings only. I do this partly because I absolutely love abstracts. Mostly, I only do abstracts because I can do them within a few hours. I start them and finish them and can move on. There is no having to wait for a week or even a day for paint to dry soas to go in and add detail. It is just hoocha, hoocha, hoocha...LOBSTER. I love that.

Ellen DeGeneres did a stand up comedy thing a couple of years ago on HBO called "The Beginning." In it, she said, "I know I have ADD because I do not have the patience to go and see if I have ADD." Well, it was something very close to that at any rate. I think she is a comedic genius. Anyway, I feel the same way about the ADD. I feel like I probably do have ADD, but do not have the patience to go and have myself tested. Okay perfect example. I just forgot what I was doing. I saw my new cell phone out of the corner of my eye and thought, while typing, "I wonder what games my new cell phone has on it." I then proceeded to play pinball for several minutes. Usually all my posts on here are 4 hours off. It shows when I started one, but what it does not show is how long it takes me to actually get through one. Damn it! I just started to grab my cell phone and play pinball again. Perhaps I am insane. Well I know I am. I just need to get a crazy check now. Is that what it is actually called? A "Crazy Check?" I guess I could find out. Wouldn't want to offend any of you crazy fuckers. What was I talking about?

So yea, I am constantly starting things that I never finish. If you have been to any of my links, namely Rabid Chinchilla Productions, you may notice that there is a "Temporarily Shitty" notice on there. Yea, I stuck that on there like 7 or 8 months ago. Still haven't tried to fix the problem. Oh and don't hold your breath for any of the coming attractions on there. I update that thing every 6 months or so. It is just my personal site, so it doesn't really matter I guess. Not like I am being paid or anything. Get off my back!

That new chick at work looks like a garden gnome who has had a rough life in the garden. Seriously, she looks like a herd of rabid little people gnawed on her face. I wouldn't normally talk about her (Well, yes, I probably would), but I do not like her. She has a voice that would drive Fran Drescher to suicide. Not only does she have an obnoxious voice and a BMW (Body Made Wrong for all you honky crackers out there), but she also has the mental capacity of somewhere between Rain Man and Forest Gump. This is the woman who will be working with me from now on. I work 7 days, 12 hours a day, and am then off for 7 days. She will be working the same rotation I do. WOOHOO! Her voice is like the mom from the '90s cartoon Bobby's World mixed with Drescher and a pinch of Gilbert Gottfried for added irritation. Maybe I am being too harsh. No, I am just being honest.

God likes honesty.