A Purreem About Guapo and Everything Less Confusing
Guapo did not exactly work out. Cannot remember if I already told everyone that, but for those of you who may have not gotten the memo, it did not work. Basically, he said we need to slow things down. I said slow down to what. He said slow down to friends. I said, "So I can date other people?" He said I could not. I said, "So YOU want to date other people?" He again said no. I said I was confused. He said...ahem..."We are friends who go on dates with each other but no one else. We are not dating, but we cannot date other people as going on a date with someone else would be the equivalent of us breaking up and therefore no longer dating even though we are not dating we are just friends." To which I responded, "Huh?" So yea, long story short, it didn't work out.
I have been praying alot lately. I pray kind of weird. Like, I talk to God as though He were just some random friend of mine. And I noticed that I use the term "God knows" a whole lot when I am praying. As in, "I just want him to be happy, but God knows I have a thing for him." I mean obviously God knows. He is God for...His sake.?. And if somehow He did not know, I am praying to Him so obviouly He would know. I mean I just told Him, ya know. Nevermind. Lost my point.
Oh, tonight, on my way home from a nameless person's home, I prayed. I asked God to give me guidance in the situation that I find myself in currently. Most would probably accept any guidance that He is willing to give and accept it WHEN He is willing to give it. I on the other hand asked God to tell me what to do by sending me a message thru a radio station at exactly 2:23 am. The way that the station thru which said message was to be chosen was by counting the street signs on a backcountry road up until 2:23am. Not any street signs, only the yellow ones. If I counted 1-6 signs, that number represented a preset. 7-12 would be divided by two. That number was then used to select the station. Although now that I think about it, that last part makes no sense. I mean, basically I would be choosing 4-6 based on that. The only possible way to choose stations 1-3 would be if I saw exactly one, two, or three signs. Anyway, I saw eight. So at 2:23 am, I pushed preset number four, Star 93.5. Static. That station doesn't pick up when I am at my mom's which is where I was headed. Static. I think it is God's way of saying my street sign selection process was sort of confusing, made no sense whatsoever, and was basically stupid. So then I asked God to send me a message at 2:27 am on preset one, Y101.7. I anxiously awaited 2:27am. I swear that my car clock stayed at 2:26 am for like five minutes. Anyway, it did eventually change. I pushed preset one. It was a song which I had never before heard. It was near the end of the song and the chorus was repeating again and again. Remember how I mentioned my attention span issues? Yea well, I have already forgotten most of the words to the song's chorus. One line from it was something like, "We sing to never fall in love." Most of the chorus was "We sing" followed by a reason. There were maybe four reasons. They repeated them...repeatedly.?. Haha. Anyway, so yea. The chorus of that song was basically God telling me that I should be happy and stop obsessing over finding love. It will happen when it happens. Unless of course it never happens. In which case it will never happen. Anyway, I need to try and be happy with my life and the things going on in and around it. I cannot continue to hold onto resentment towards my ex-boyfriend. I should learn from my mistakes. I should have standards that I do not back down from. If I say no drugs I have to stick to that whole heartedly not half assed. If I say we've been together long enough to move in together but you still have to pay half of everything as I do not make enough money to support myself and you and your drug habits and you are almost ten years my senior and should probably be supporting my ass as that would make a little more sense even though I did not want you supporting me although a little help financially would have been nice every now and again you coked out dried up queen...deep inhale...then I should stick to that. Look, I just decided to not resent my ex-boyfriend (whom I will refer to as Anna Nicole) anymore tonight. Give me a break if it takes me more than two hours to get over hating him. I don't hate him. He just aggrivates me. In the words of Grace on 'Will and Grace', "OOOOOooooooooo... Crack whores are so sneaky!" What was I talking about before I got sidetracked? Oh right, God. God caused his *forcibly insert positive adjective here* ass to bite a scar into my stomach for a reason. That reason being so I will know better in the future than to waver one bit from my standards. That is all that I want to say about that.
What else is happening? I have been sick for a little over a week. They thought it was pneumonia, like always, but it turned out to be bronchitis, as usual. I have basically been away from work all week due to illness and stuff.
Is 5 am too early or too late to start drinking? I don't have to work for a week. Nah I am trying to get in shape. Do not need to start drinking. Jesus I am messed up. Nevermind the fact that I am sick and on antibiotics and should therefore not be drinking. Oh no! That is not a good enough reason to not get completely snot faced at 5 in the morning. My body?! Oh well that's a horse of a different color! Damn I really am on my way to being one of THOSE people that I talked about in one of my earlier entries. Whatever, my pecs look good right now as do my arms and tan. Bastard tan didn't cover my stomach bite scar. Had God and I not decided that I do not despise that evil Satan spawn of an ex of mine, I might have had to salt his mother's yard and put his car out of its misery. But I don't hate him. I am not bitter. I mean living with/off of mom at 31!?!?! Well I say he is living off his mom. It is a combination of her and his new man, some guy that he says he met two days after we broke up. I am sure. Poor bastard better hope he has a good 401K. Actually I have a strong feeling that this guy is getting social security. Not that there is anything wrong with being at that age in your life, but it is sad that some random ass Pawpaw is being taken advantage of by Anna Nicole. She's a crazy bitch. Lived in California for 7 years. Most men just buy a big car when they are overcompensating, they don't move across the country just to be in a state that is really long. I guess average size gets a regular car. Below average gets a big car. Pacifieresque size gets to move across country to really REALLY try and make up for length. Did I really stoop to this level? You bet your ass. After being told that I deserve everything that I got, everything that happened to me and I do deserve to die, I don't give a flying fuck about him or his opinion of me or how pissed he will be if he ever stumbles across this entry where I am telling the entire world that my crackwhore (literally), golddigging, abusive, insane, junkie, shitty kitty bum of an exboyfriend has a dick that could easily be shamed by that of a chihuahua. Size doesn't matter. This is true when there is at least SOME size there. I'm sorry if I am being vulgar or mean, but I was fucking a cheese puff for a year and a half. Not literally, but now that I think about it, maybe had I been I would have felt something. Anyway, enough about his pencil dick. I have basically not had sex in two years. Other than with Military Boy and this one other guy whom will remain totally random for the time being. Venting makes me feel alot better. I feel great now.
Oh and the above is not talking about Guapo. Guapo was a recent little fling thing. Anna and I split in January. That was B.C. or Before Consuela.
**************************************************
"Guapo's an Oompa Loompa"
by Preston (No shit)
Oompa loompa doompity doo
Yes you're a midget but are you a Jew?
Oompa loompa doompity dee
You've got your architecture degree.
Must you insist on saying "ass face"?
You should keep quiet. Remember your place.
Do you know where mouthy midgets go?
Ask little Timmy from that Pas-sions show.
(Timmy hates the wa-ah-sher)
Oompa loompa doompity dah
Dri-ving around in your Munchkinland car.
You're overcom-pen-sating, it's true.
O-ppressed Oompa Loompa doompity do.
(Travel size Jew.)
**************************************************
That's all I have to say. It is 5:38am now and I need to sleep. Plus I want a cigarette and am out of them and keep eating soas to try and supress the craving.
Later Consuela.
Guapo did not exactly work out. Cannot remember if I already told everyone that, but for those of you who may have not gotten the memo, it did not work. Basically, he said we need to slow things down. I said slow down to what. He said slow down to friends. I said, "So I can date other people?" He said I could not. I said, "So YOU want to date other people?" He again said no. I said I was confused. He said...ahem..."We are friends who go on dates with each other but no one else. We are not dating, but we cannot date other people as going on a date with someone else would be the equivalent of us breaking up and therefore no longer dating even though we are not dating we are just friends." To which I responded, "Huh?" So yea, long story short, it didn't work out.
I have been praying alot lately. I pray kind of weird. Like, I talk to God as though He were just some random friend of mine. And I noticed that I use the term "God knows" a whole lot when I am praying. As in, "I just want him to be happy, but God knows I have a thing for him." I mean obviously God knows. He is God for...His sake.?. And if somehow He did not know, I am praying to Him so obviouly He would know. I mean I just told Him, ya know. Nevermind. Lost my point.
Oh, tonight, on my way home from a nameless person's home, I prayed. I asked God to give me guidance in the situation that I find myself in currently. Most would probably accept any guidance that He is willing to give and accept it WHEN He is willing to give it. I on the other hand asked God to tell me what to do by sending me a message thru a radio station at exactly 2:23 am. The way that the station thru which said message was to be chosen was by counting the street signs on a backcountry road up until 2:23am. Not any street signs, only the yellow ones. If I counted 1-6 signs, that number represented a preset. 7-12 would be divided by two. That number was then used to select the station. Although now that I think about it, that last part makes no sense. I mean, basically I would be choosing 4-6 based on that. The only possible way to choose stations 1-3 would be if I saw exactly one, two, or three signs. Anyway, I saw eight. So at 2:23 am, I pushed preset number four, Star 93.5. Static. That station doesn't pick up when I am at my mom's which is where I was headed. Static. I think it is God's way of saying my street sign selection process was sort of confusing, made no sense whatsoever, and was basically stupid. So then I asked God to send me a message at 2:27 am on preset one, Y101.7. I anxiously awaited 2:27am. I swear that my car clock stayed at 2:26 am for like five minutes. Anyway, it did eventually change. I pushed preset one. It was a song which I had never before heard. It was near the end of the song and the chorus was repeating again and again. Remember how I mentioned my attention span issues? Yea well, I have already forgotten most of the words to the song's chorus. One line from it was something like, "We sing to never fall in love." Most of the chorus was "We sing" followed by a reason. There were maybe four reasons. They repeated them...repeatedly.?. Haha. Anyway, so yea. The chorus of that song was basically God telling me that I should be happy and stop obsessing over finding love. It will happen when it happens. Unless of course it never happens. In which case it will never happen. Anyway, I need to try and be happy with my life and the things going on in and around it. I cannot continue to hold onto resentment towards my ex-boyfriend. I should learn from my mistakes. I should have standards that I do not back down from. If I say no drugs I have to stick to that whole heartedly not half assed. If I say we've been together long enough to move in together but you still have to pay half of everything as I do not make enough money to support myself and you and your drug habits and you are almost ten years my senior and should probably be supporting my ass as that would make a little more sense even though I did not want you supporting me although a little help financially would have been nice every now and again you coked out dried up queen...deep inhale...then I should stick to that. Look, I just decided to not resent my ex-boyfriend (whom I will refer to as Anna Nicole) anymore tonight. Give me a break if it takes me more than two hours to get over hating him. I don't hate him. He just aggrivates me. In the words of Grace on 'Will and Grace', "OOOOOooooooooo... Crack whores are so sneaky!" What was I talking about before I got sidetracked? Oh right, God. God caused his *forcibly insert positive adjective here* ass to bite a scar into my stomach for a reason. That reason being so I will know better in the future than to waver one bit from my standards. That is all that I want to say about that.
What else is happening? I have been sick for a little over a week. They thought it was pneumonia, like always, but it turned out to be bronchitis, as usual. I have basically been away from work all week due to illness and stuff.
Is 5 am too early or too late to start drinking? I don't have to work for a week. Nah I am trying to get in shape. Do not need to start drinking. Jesus I am messed up. Nevermind the fact that I am sick and on antibiotics and should therefore not be drinking. Oh no! That is not a good enough reason to not get completely snot faced at 5 in the morning. My body?! Oh well that's a horse of a different color! Damn I really am on my way to being one of THOSE people that I talked about in one of my earlier entries. Whatever, my pecs look good right now as do my arms and tan. Bastard tan didn't cover my stomach bite scar. Had God and I not decided that I do not despise that evil Satan spawn of an ex of mine, I might have had to salt his mother's yard and put his car out of its misery. But I don't hate him. I am not bitter. I mean living with/off of mom at 31!?!?! Well I say he is living off his mom. It is a combination of her and his new man, some guy that he says he met two days after we broke up. I am sure. Poor bastard better hope he has a good 401K. Actually I have a strong feeling that this guy is getting social security. Not that there is anything wrong with being at that age in your life, but it is sad that some random ass Pawpaw is being taken advantage of by Anna Nicole. She's a crazy bitch. Lived in California for 7 years. Most men just buy a big car when they are overcompensating, they don't move across the country just to be in a state that is really long. I guess average size gets a regular car. Below average gets a big car. Pacifieresque size gets to move across country to really REALLY try and make up for length. Did I really stoop to this level? You bet your ass. After being told that I deserve everything that I got, everything that happened to me and I do deserve to die, I don't give a flying fuck about him or his opinion of me or how pissed he will be if he ever stumbles across this entry where I am telling the entire world that my crackwhore (literally), golddigging, abusive, insane, junkie, shitty kitty bum of an exboyfriend has a dick that could easily be shamed by that of a chihuahua. Size doesn't matter. This is true when there is at least SOME size there. I'm sorry if I am being vulgar or mean, but I was fucking a cheese puff for a year and a half. Not literally, but now that I think about it, maybe had I been I would have felt something. Anyway, enough about his pencil dick. I have basically not had sex in two years. Other than with Military Boy and this one other guy whom will remain totally random for the time being. Venting makes me feel alot better. I feel great now.
Oh and the above is not talking about Guapo. Guapo was a recent little fling thing. Anna and I split in January. That was B.C. or Before Consuela.
**************************************************
"Guapo's an Oompa Loompa"
by Preston (No shit)
Oompa loompa doompity doo
Yes you're a midget but are you a Jew?
Oompa loompa doompity dee
You've got your architecture degree.
Must you insist on saying "ass face"?
You should keep quiet. Remember your place.
Do you know where mouthy midgets go?
Ask little Timmy from that Pas-sions show.
(Timmy hates the wa-ah-sher)
Oompa loompa doompity dah
Dri-ving around in your Munchkinland car.
You're overcom-pen-sating, it's true.
O-ppressed Oompa Loompa doompity do.
(Travel size Jew.)
**************************************************
That's all I have to say. It is 5:38am now and I need to sleep. Plus I want a cigarette and am out of them and keep eating soas to try and supress the craving.
Later Consuela.
posted by Preston at 5:20 AM
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