Things I WILL DO (Either to be Accomplished or Begun by 2005):

1) I will stop smoking.
2) I will finish something that I start.
3) I will try to save some money.
4) I will get out of debt.
5) I will stop being so hard on myself all the time.
6) I will start enjoying life.
7) I will learn carpentry skills.
8) I will get back into school.
9) I will learn French.
10) I will learn to sew.
11) I will write at least half of my first novel.
12) I will have a stomach that looks less like a keg and more like a six pack.
13) I will read no less than two books a month.
14) I will stop being so bitter.
15) I will dream less and do more.
16) I will work through all my many issues.
17) I will start trusting people more.
18) I will lie to people less.
19) I will find myself spiritually.
20) I will stick to my goals.
21 & 22) I will stop blaming all my mistakes on everyone else and start accepting the consequences of my actions.
23) I will stop acting like such a bitch in every slang sense of the word.

I absolutely refuse to believe that I was put on this planet simply to pull pills and complain. I know that there has to be something more that I am missing. I feel like I could actually accomplish something if I'd stop being such a scared little lazy bastard, get off my ass, and DO something. I am 22 years old for God's sake. I should already have my first degree and be working on another. What have I accomplished?! I think it was in a Sandra Bullock movie that they said she had no talent other than converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. Frankly, I know that I do, in fact, have talent. I have several talents. So why the hell have I spent the past several years pulling a Bullock? I mean, what the fuck. I am too easily distracted and sidetracked. Just now, a really hot pharmacist walked thru and I lost my train of thought. Am I really that easily distracted?! Does it really only take one member of the same species, one member of the same sex, one member's imagined member, for Chrissake, to take me from giving myself a lecture on what I need to do to get myself back on the right track, to mongoloid mode?!? I mean, give me a fucking break! I am totally pathetic. Yes, Preston, you are alone. Yes, you are single. Doesn't really seem to bother you so much this time though does it? So stop being so fucking obsessed with guys and sex and cuddling and dinners and movies and whatthefuckever and start focusing on your future. I mean, you have resorted to speaking to yourself in third person, ya know. That is really pretty bad, if you think about it. Get your ass in gear. I am getting really tired of this. Stop obsessing over things you cannot change. Stop putting off everything you do or should be doing. Stop giving up so goddamned easily. Fucking stop being such a goddamned baby!!

Later Sueler!