You Catch More Flack with Carpentry than Bitterness...OR...Get Off My Back, Monkeys

Several friends of mine made fun of my entry Things I WILL DO (Either to be Accomplished or Begun by 2005) from Friday, July 30, 2004. Most had to snicker at numbers seven and fourteen: 7) I will learn carpentry skills; 14) I will stop being so bitter. I will try to explain.

A certain roommate of mine whom shall remain nameless-well, he is a clergyman and my only roommate if that will help narrow it down- told me that number fourteen is impossible for me. Well, he worded it differently, but it was pretty much the same thing. His was closer to, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...*cough*...*deep inhale*...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... ha ... ho ....... ho ........ wooooo ....... huh ..... ha ........... hummmmm ................. mmmmmmmm .................. YOU?! Stop being bitter?!?! HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..." Well I said stop being so bitter. I did not say that I will stop being bitter altogether. I will just cut back on my bitterness is all. I assumed it was obvious, but a couple of people said something to me about it. I must have been incorrect in my assumption.

What got even more comments than the bitterness one was number seven. Number seven is an odd goal to have. I do admit that. However, all that I meant by learning carpentry skills was I want to learn to use powertools well enough to recreate furniture from the Armani Casa collection. I know that still seems odd, but I cannot afford furniture from the 99 Cent Store line much less the Armani Casa line. Therefore, I want to learn to make furniture just enough to recreate a couple of Armani tables. Is that so wrong? I did not want to say, "I want to be a capenter," because I do not want to be a carpenter. I did not say, "I want to learn how to use powertools just enough to be able to recreate some of the furniture in the Armani Casa collection since I cannot afford it," because that would have taken too damned long to type. Although, you have now made me type that out. See what you people are doing to me?! Madness I tell ya!! Look at the pretty lights in the sky.
Where is my baby?
I need to find my sweet, little baby, Ju-Ju Bee!
Milk from a mama goat tastes like that of a chicken.
Where am I?
My hair is made of daisy petals!
Get out of my head! Somebody love me.
There is nothing like a good Gregorian hamster chant.
Will someone please help me build a fetal llama's egg out of tofu?!
Blue is the color of the devil's hairpiece.
Bacon!!
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME?!? Driving me completely insanity!! And YES, I meant to say 'insanity' instead of 'insane,' so no comments on that are necessary!

Now, all that I have left to say is you can all go to hell, you silly crackuh ass behonkers.

Later Consuela.