Tuesday, January 25, 2005

"I want One of Those Little Old Man Dolls"

So I went to Fenian's Irish Pub thing the other night with MC Matt. The band was great. The overweight singer guy with body odor offered to get my friends and I stoned. I think he wanted in my pants. Anyway, during one of their songs, MC Matt leans over and say, "I want one of those little old man dolls." It took me a minute, but then I noticed what he was talking about. There was a little old man doll on the drums. I looked at it. Looked at him. Looked back at it. Looked back at MC Matt and said, "Did you just say you wanted one of those 'little old man dolls'?" He said in a perfectly normal voice that that is, in fact, what he had said. I said, "Tell me you did not just say you want one of those 'little old man dolls'". Again, he said that, yes, that is what he had said. I said, "Do you not know who that is?" He did not. "That is a Jerry Garcia doll." "Okay," he responded blankly. "Jerry Garcia...Grateful Dead...anything?" He said he didn't know anything about either. I was shocked and said, "I still remember where I was when he died." (For those of you who are curious where that was, in a room at a Days Inn in Nevada.) The moral? What are they teaching kids these days?!? And why is three years such a huge age gap?! And why I gosta be so damned old feeling?! SHIT!

I have heard several times, mainly from friends who have gotten tired of me bitching about being single and on a constant quest to find that mythical Mr. Right, that when I stop looking, the right guy will show up. The closest I have come to having that actually happen is a few weeks ago when I stopped looking for a man and a man showed up at our house. Granted, he was from the power company and had come to cut off our power (long confusing story involving a mix up and the bitter half of a seperated married couple). Furthermore, I was not even at home when that whole fiasco went down, so even if he was there for me, I was still screwed in the deal. Damn, I need to slow down on this kaki no tane. Almost finished a whole bag. Nevermind, that has absolutely nothing to do with the price of hairpieces in Cuba. Anyway, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by myself, in the past, I have half-ass stopped looking only to find the closest thing to anything even vaguely resembling a man popping up was the power man, which is really stretching the whole pop-up male theory if you ask me. So fine, on or around New Year's Eve, I genuinely decided to completely give up the search. I decided that if I am going to be single, I will at least have a ton of friends. Then, I started hanging out with my old friends more and meeting new ones. It was alright actually, and yes, I do realize that it was only for a month. One night, kind of randomly, I see this guy online in a chatroom that I had seen many, many times before but never spoken to soas to avoid being extremely, well, Preston toward him. I had seen his profile on one of the millions of personals sites with which I am associated. He is completely my type which was all the more reason to not speak to him (refer to The Three R's: Relationships, Writing, and Reclusion). Well, I decided to anyway. Thought after seeing his profile only a few moments earlier and having given up on guys, I could at least make another friend. Well, anyway, we've been talking for a week-ish now. He's really cool. Actually he is really, really cool. Gay Momma told me to play it cool and don't pull a Preston (fall hard and fast, be creepy clingy, give it up too quickly with "it" being both sex and trust, etc). I am doing pretty good at it I think. Can't tell. So you aren't interested in him then? Yes, very much so. He has green eyes and dark hair. He is tall and slender. He has a dry sense of humor. He watches cartoons. He is super funny. He's not gay fake. He's republican (which is not necessarily a plus, but I find that very interesting). He's laidback. Employed. Intelligent, nice, amazing kisser. He's definitely someone for me to consider. Who the hell am I kidding?! Yes I am falling if not fallen. It scares me a little. Not him, but my falling for him this quickly. I feel like I have known him forever. I hadn't worried about it until I was trying to remember when we first starting speaking to each other. I could have sworn we had been talking for longer. It's weird. I just hope I don't come on too strong or fall too fast. As soon as I do, it won't work out. We hit it off immediately. He can also handle my weird ass. Not my actual physical ass and its weirdness. Though it is kind of odd. Nevermind. You know what I mean, hell. Anyway, enough of all that. Oh and his eyes are great. They're green. I think I mentioned it already. I could just go back up and reread, but who has time to do that? If I did already mention his eyes, they deserve to be mentioned twice at least. His eyes are beautiful and green. There just to make sure it was covered. Moving on. I think he is interested in me too. I am pretty sure he is. It is not like we have had sex, so I at least know that, if nothing else, it isn't sex that he is wanting me for. Yea, I think I am going to have to make sure to try and not fuck up anything this time. Try to handle this like a normal, sane person would. Who knows. Maybe it'll work. A boy can hope.

Later Consuela.