Friday, January 14, 2005

Practice What You Preach
How I Got My Restraining Order

Only a few hours after writing the entry that is below this, I ended up sending this email to some kid on some site with personals.

"Subject: Not so good at this whole thing...

You look very familiar to me. I am sure it is just
from seeing your profile on here or, perhaps, on some
other random personals site. I know that I have meant
to speak to you before, but as stated in the subject
line, I am really not so good at this whole thing. I
noticed you are studying French. That is, rather may
still be, one of my majors once I am back in school
this fall. I am undecided. Probably will be though.
I guess it really depends on where I am accepted.
Hopefully, I will make it into Tisch at NYU for their
creative writing program. Who knows. Rambling just a
little. I apologize. Anyway, my point, I won't lie
and say that I did not notice your picture first. I
mean, I did. You are a very attractive guy. I also
cannot say that I think our souls are connected as one
on some ancient metaphysical plane, because I would be
completely full of shit. One, I do not even know you
or much about you aside from a brief description on
your profile. Two, I don't even know what that is
supposed to mean. Three, who the hell talks like
that, I mean honestly. If I have sounded at all
throughout this novella of an email to a nameless
stranger a bit wordy or flowery, I apologize. I am
working on a novel write now and have gotten into that
mindset. I know, it is kind of annoying. It is also
the reason behind my incessant rambling. I don't know
what the hell I am talking about anymore. Look, in
summation, I think you are very attractive, don't seem
crazy (though this whole assessment is bases on only a
handful of lines), and would like to possibly get to
know you. Which is also not to say that I am after
sex or a boyfriend or anything like that. You just
seem like you might be a cool guy to know and be
around and whatnot. Damned stream of consciousness.
Okay, I think I have terrified you enough for one
evening. Hope to hear back from you, but after
rereading my garbled verbal diarrhea, I would
COMPLETELY understand if you never did. Also
anticipating a possible restraining order. Okay
that's all. Well, other than my email address is
the cow says 'mooooo!'. Okay, now, that is all.



So yea...and it is really not that I want to jump his bones or date him or anything. I really don't know him. I know that I have either spoken to him before or read several of his profiles in several places. Not really sure which. Either way, I guess that I am really not going back on what I said. I am just trying to find new friends is all. Stop looking at me like that, bastard.

Later Consuela.