Wednesday, February 23, 2005

FUCKING MISSISSIPPI QUEENS!!!
OR
Death to the Dutch


Dutch Date, the guy I was considering dating way back in the proverbial day before we became friends of sorts, is no more. Why do I bother cutting and pasting emails that piss me off on here? Mainly, so I won't forget anything and get sucked back into old situations.

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To: Preston

Hey,

Thanks for dropping off the book. I just got in from my eight o'clock class and realized that you had been trying to call me. you must not have gotten my text message last night.

I must be honest with you. I don't intend to continue our friendship. You've proven so many times in the past to be unreliable when simply even returning a phone call.

It really bothered me that you even got mad about what happened between Chad and I. If you had liked me so much, then why not have stated so? You knew I like you still. It bothers me that you might have seen me as something you could keep aside for a "just- in- case" kinda friend or boyfriend or whatever. I'm very much attracted to you - which you knew, but yet you stayed silent about how you felt about me. How is this, do you think, supposed to make me feel?

So you are free to erase my number and not ever call nor speak to me again. I'm sure that's what you would prefer anyway. And if you want your movie back, just let me know.

Dutch Date


To: Dutch Date

I will break this email apart for you and keep it as brief as possible. I would not want you to have to waste anymore time on such an unreliable, "just-in-case" kinda friend than is necessary.

No, I did not get a text message from you.

The only time you ever called was when you wanted to fuck someone. You felt that poor, easy, single, sickly Preston would surely be willing to take the
charity of your dick up his ass. I mean, where the hell else is he gonna get it? Honestly, how many times did you ever call me that you were not only trying to get laid? Maybe twice. Every single time you would call and ask me to come over, your hand was down my pants before I'd even been there ten minutes. So if I were not prompt enough in returning your calls for ass, I am sorry. Not because I wasn't always there for you to get off on, but because I somehow managed to lead you to believe that I was your personal sperm receptacle who answered your every
beckoning.

As far as the whole Chad thing, I have been through all that before. Bottom line is you are a liar. First of all you lied about all these trips to yours parents house including the one that lasted for the month or month and a half. Why you lied about that I still don't know. Hell, if you were not wanting to talk or off fucking someone or on vacation or whatever that is your business. You didn't have to tell me
where you were, but why pointlessly lie about it? Also, you are not as naive and innocent as you pretend to be. You cause and, in my opinion, thrive on chaos
and drama. You need it in order for you to function. You acted as though you did not know Chad and asked all sorts of questions about him in an attempt to get
me to bad mouth him. You wanted something that you could run back to him with it. The thing is, if I will say something to you about someone, I will and, in most cases, have said that very thing to his or her face. I've had to deal with people like you, drama fags in innocent's clothing, for a few years now. I was hoping I was wrong about you, but well...

Honestly, I did still have a thing for you, but one of the major reasons I did not tell you this is because of the fifty plus books on codependency that litter your apartment. You are a seemingly nice guy, but obviously have things that you need to work through before getting involved with anyone. I was not going to be a guinea pig in your quest for self help. The codependency collection you have was another part of the reason I didn't always return calls promptly, though not wanting to be your fuckhole was still the major reason.

As for "It bothers me that you might have seen me as something you could keep aside for a 'just- in- case' kinda friend or boyfriend or whatever...How is this,
do you think, supposed to make me feel?", kiss my ass! First of all, the ONLY time I have ever done anything even remotely like that to you was when I told you
that I was trying to date a guy in Memphis but if it did not work out, we could then date. The ONLY reason I ever even said that was in response to when I met you and you said the same thing of yourself and some guy in Atlanta. So you cannot say a goddamned thing about keeping someone as a fucking backup plan. That is not what I was keeping you for. That is what you tried to keep me around for so fuck you!

Maybe you will get whatever help it is that you need. Maybe someday you will find someone who is impressed by the fact that you have a penis of slighter above average size. Maybe one day you will fucking stop playing games and grow up. I was trying to keep this short and not cuss, try to be somewhat civil, but you have infuriated me.

I'll be calling in the morning before I come by for the DVD. If you read this tonight, I'd appreciate you not doing anything to my DVD as I still have copies of
all the papers, shitty as they may have been, that I threw together for you. I hate that it went this way, but what should I have expected from Jackson fags?

That's all.

One more thing, Just because I have a boyfriend now, you are willing to throw away our friendship. I think that says alot about you and your character, rather, your lack thereof. I mean, do you really have to make excuses for why we all of a sudden cannot be friends? It is obvious that you don't want us to be friends anymore now that the muffin shop is closed (not that it had been open for business that much before). You have made me feel physically ill. I honestly wish that the only interaction I had ever had with you was one conversation at Video Library about why gay cinema is shit. That image of you has completely tarnished.

Preston

To: Preston

First off, I've never lied to you about anything. And I don't lie about things.
Secondly, why would I do something to your movie? Ya know, I was thinking about making comments about this email, but it seems like you feel you have everything figured out. But isn't it interesting who's being dramatic?

DD

To: Dutch Date

Well, I feel that after dealing with your unstable ass for as long as I have, YES, I have MORE than earned my right to be a little be dramatic. Though this is not so much overly dramatic as my way of getting out all of my frustration with you before getting that movie as I might otherwise spit in your face. I'll call on my way there tomorrow.

Preston
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING MISSISSIPPI QUEENS!!!

Later Consuela.