The Greatest Chicken in the World!!!
I went to my brother's wedding yesterday afternoon. It was pretty nifty actually. Very small wedding. Maybe twenty or thirty people there. Closer to twenty actually. His wife, Alice, wore a beautiful white dress. She didn't want a dress that could only be worn once, so she chose a pretty white nonwedding dress. I honestly do not know why everyone does not do this. It makes more sense to me. With it, she wore her black, knee high go-go boots with the one to two inch stacks. I thought that was the most awesome of the blawsome things to do. She wanted me to wear my six and three quarter inch platform boots, but I knew my mother would have had my knee caps broken. That is one of the many many drawbacks of being "connected." My brother wore a Dr. Seuss One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish necktie with his suit and white ankle socks. He wanted to wear his signature green and navy blue Airwalk 19OZ skateboard shoes circa 1995-1996ish. He borrowed these shoes from me when I was a high school freshman, and they never left his feet. He really wanted to be married in them, but my mother... Oh to be "connected." Seriously, until you have been there, you have
no idea.
We went to this restaurant Thursday night to sort of have the families meet one another. I kept calling it Bubba Ho Tep's as I could not remember the name of it. I knew it was something that sounded pretty inbred, white trashy. The restaurant's actual name is Cowboy Jim's Something Something Dee Something Something. I do wish I could remember the name of it. It was surprisingly an excellent restaurant. It had a country theme that was not too overdone. Well, other than the roosters and white bunnies that were running amuck in the restaurant. Oh and then there were the waitresses who all wore daisy duke, short shorts and gun holsters complete with cap guns. And I am not sure, but I think that in the "Rodeo Room" there may have been a mechanical bull. I know that over the toilet in the men's room there was a sign which read, "If you are not a 'longhorn' please stand directly over the toilet." Then there was the hot boy who brought out the food. I caught myself checking him out until I realized that he was maybe fourteen years old. Well, he was probably sixteen. "As long as there is grass on the playing field...," as a pervie good friend of mine always says. Anyway, I am just kidding. I'd never mess with an underaged boy. Once he hits seventeen however... What the hell am I talking about? I am just getting sidetracked with pervie shock treatment tonight. Back to Cowboy Jim's Something Something Dee Something Something.
The building was an old farm house that was built at the bottom of a large hill on the edge of a small lake or maybe a really big pond. Hard to tell. Anyway, there is this enclosed pier that comes off of the back of the building. It stretches about halfway out across the water. We had the pier to ourselves. It may not seem like a great place to have dinner, but it was pretty neato keen. The walls were all just huge sheets of glass. There were white lights all over the building which gave the water around a very beautiful sort of tranquil feel. It was just an usually peaceful atmosphere. Of course, that peace was broken occassionally by the roosters' barking. They sounded more like barks to me. I just had a really good time.
How was the food? Well, I do not know if it was the fact that I've been living on mostly tuna lately or if it was the fact that I had been awake for more than twenty-four hours, but Jesus Christ with a jigsaw!!! Holy wow, that was good chicken. It damn near made me lose my religion. I have been talking about it for, well, since Thursday. It made my panties moist. I got excited and tinkled on muhself. It was Kwanzaa, Rodney Dangerfield's eyes, and sex with midgets all rolled up into one perfectly juicy, perfectly seasoned breast. Mmmmmmmmm..... I am going to write them a letter telling them how perfect it was. It made my life complete.
I spoke tonight with the Dutch Date guy from my shrimp episode. More on that later as there isn't much of anything to report at the moment.
Later Consuela.
