When Dealing with the Homegrown Faggot, One Can Never Go Wrong with a Panflute
OR
Faggot: The Other Dark Meat

Did everyone else know that queens are suckers for the panflute? I guess I missed the memo or something. I am listening to Sirius OutQ, the fag station on Sirius. They keep playing songs featuring panflutes. It is on a show that I believe is called Last Call or something. Maybe that is the new way of clearing out the queers from bars. Just turn on all the bar's lights. Then, while the dilated pupils of the geeked out, homely stragglers who couldn't find anyone with whom to go home and snort more crystal while taking a fist up the ass while another nameless Tina fiend demands lovingly, "Eat this man dick," are still being seared by the sudden flood of fluorescent light, start playing the panflute music. Talk about fucking with the heads of the tweaked. Anyway, I just had to mention that. Oh and aren't queers supposed to have good taste or something. I mean is that not the stereotype? If so, why the hell does the Sirius Fag not play some nonshit music?! I mean really! Haha...I wish they called their station The Sirius Fag. That'd be great. Fuck. I gotta switch it to something else. Station 8, Big 80's. OOOH YEA!! That's what the hell I am talkin' about. HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS, HIP TO BE SQUARE!!! Yep. Getting Sirius next Friday. Mos Def!

So I think I fall into a weird category of queer. I feel like homos deserve the right to get married, but are not ready to get married (though I feel the same way about heteros...oooh Blondie, Call Me!). It pisses me off to hear people say that (Cyndi Lauper, All Through the Night) gays shouldn't be able to get married because God said that fags should all be killed and buried in a grave topped with salt. I mean, for one, what about seperation of state and religion? If you are going to choose which guidelines and rules and regulations you are gonna follow and which will be ignored, what is the point of even having them to begin with (John Cougar Mellencamp, Pink Houses)?! I mean seriously! Why not just have a mandatory religion for the nation? We could all be Muslim or Jewish or Catholic or those crazy Pentecostals who live in the mountains and dance with rattlesnakes. Seriously. I just get sick and tired of living by double standards. (Madonna, Starlight) This is not one nation under God. For one, if it is, that goes against religious freedom. Not really goes against, just shows extreme bias. For two, the Christian God is supposed to be a God of love. He loves all living things. (OH MY gracious me!!! TALKING HEADS, AND SHE WAS!!! I FRAPPIN' LOVE TALKING HEADS!!) I highly doubt He would be pleased to see a group of His people treated like shit or "less than"s. Preston, who do you think you are to say what God does and does not approve of, ya faggot? Well, who the hell are you to say what God does and does not approve of, ya bigot? See my whole thing is this. I know that queers, when they get the right to get married, will get all "nouveaux hitched" with it and have a huge divorce rate. Again, breeder marriage ends up in divorce like 50% of the time or more. Why not let the queens in on that drama action? In a nutshell, I think that homos are today what Condalesa Rice would have been in mid-1960's America. Women and black people were frowned upon and denied basic rights due to issues of ignorance about something as minute as gender or race. Today, we are frowned upon and denied basic rights due to issues of ignorance about something as minute as sexual orientation. It is kind of sad really.

I didn't mean to let that turn into, well, my soapbox derby. Sorry about that. I just get like that sometimes. My boss triggered it tonight. Anyway, That's all that I have for now.

Later Consuela.

A TON of Photos of My Art and Shit

So I kept saying I'd eventually get around to posting pictures of my art. Well, here ya go. If you click this, it'll take you to the complete list of pictures instead of only seeing seven. Hope you like them.

Later Consuela.

I took this last night when I was bored at work. I felt it was time for a new picture of myself. I look like I have a fat neck/underchin in it. Nobody asked you though. Damned monkeys! 

This was taken with my cell phone (as were most of the pictures aside from the couple that I had to use the webcam with). I forgot to maximize the size on my phone, so it turned out as a really good microscopic picture of the front porch. 

This is the mysterious floating golden body that stays in the corner of the house. We don't know why he watches over us (or how for that matter since he is headless), but we love him. Don't you love the little door beside him? That is either the breaker box or a portal to hell. Not really sure which. Probably the latter. That is what he is protecting us against. 

This is the doorway to the kitchen. The butterfly is a mini of a large painting that Nat is working on to go where my Queen of Hearts is now. 

Cannister Thing

I made this in high school art. I was never very good at making cannisters and shit. I used to use this as my toothbrush holder. 

Gay Pari

I did this in hs. It is Gay Pari. Alot of people say they like it, though it is one of my least favorites out of my things. 

Faith

Bad shot of the condemned priest from hs. It was called Faith or something. 

Hand

Again, from hs. Made a clay hand and bronzed it. 

Heart

In hs I was on a black kick I guess. I made the heart and black and multicolored metallic bronzed it. Not sure what I was thinking. 

Pins and Needles

This pot was also from my hs days. It turned out alot different than it was supposed to, but oh well. 

Ephescent

Ephescent started out as a cup. That was the hs assignment. Make a cup. Mine kept trying to collapse, so I flipped it over and turned it into an elephant. I glazed him once then changed my mind. When I glazed him black over the other glaze, I got this crackle effect that doesn't really show in the picture. 

Love Bowl

This is a crap bowl I attempted to make in hs on the wheel. I suck at the potter's wheel. After I made it, Moongoddess painted it up. It is our love bowl. 

Untitled

This is the head to a very provocative piece I did in hs. Originally, he had two legs, a neck, two really big feet and a cute little ass. My art teacher claims that his body exploded in the kiln, but I am certain that the ass caused her to destroy the body. She told me to lose the ass, but it didn't look right wthout it. I later made a clay bomb which destroyed almost everyting that was being fired with it. 

The Face Tile

I made this face tile in hs. I planned on making enough to cover a bathroom, but never got around to it. 

Harvest

I did this at Beta convention in hs for a competition. Had never used scratch board or whatever it is called before then or since. I won third in state though. I was very pleasantly surprised. 

Hopper

Hopper was my first wire sculpture. Did him in hs. 

The Pyramid Thing

Not sure what the point of this hs project was. I made a paperweight mini sculpturey thing. Don't ask. 

Lil Man

A wire sculpture I made a couple of years ago. 

Untitled

Another favorite from two years ago. Not much to say about it. 

Mississippi Queen

This is the breakup painting I did after Eeyore and I broke up. You don't have to say a word. I know. 

Drained

Yet another breakup painting. This was after Jeremy about three or four years ago. Again, shut up. 

Unnaturally Happy

Unnaturally Happy was done a few years ago. It was the first thing I painted after moving out of my parents house. 

Sobriety

Admittedly one of my ugliest paintings, it is one of my favorites. I did this a few years back after running out of cigarettes and being unable to afford them while eating "Preston's I'm Too Young To Die Caserole". It had ketchup, snapbeans or stringbeans, crackers, cream of mushroom soup, and maybe tuna in it. That was all I had left in the house and I was broke. A real starving artist I was. 

Dance

This is another favorite of mine. I did this a few years ago while watching the scarification in the movie The Color Purple. 

Birth

I did this painting about three years ago. I call it Birth. It is number one in a series of eight that, like most things I start, I never finished. It is probably my favorite painting. I sold number eight, Death, at Mississippi Hearts Against AIDS this year. Originally, I was going to donate a collage entitled PETA Melt, but I never did it. The deadline came, and I had to give them somehting. I think that it is a good thing that Death ended up with an unplanned name change. PETA Melt, which was already listed in the auction booklet thingy, is a better name than Death for an AIDS fundraiser. Well, I think so anyway.